“Intimacy and sex are often casualties in the war against cancer.” This is the sentiment expressed by the care givers who look after cancer patients in a study in Australia.

This is also true in South Africa and more particularly after breast cancer diagnosis and treatment.

Breast cancer management often includes surgery, (a lumpectomy or mastectomy), radiation therapy and/or chemotherapy and hormone blockers.  Obviously, all these treatments have side effects that have to be managed, combined with this the patient and her partner’s emotional aspects of dealing with a life-threatening illness.

Most patients are too involved with survival in the initial stages of treatment to worry about sexuality. However, after a few months, they may be ready to restart their sexual relationship.

So…how do they overcome their reluctance to talk about sexual problems? Are there any tips to reclaim their sexuality? Where do they get help with sexual advice and dealing with problems like vaginal dryness?

It is imperative that you communicate with your partner. Start by telling him how you value the emotional support and that you would like to relearn how to touch, cuddle and be sexual. Explain how you feel, tell him when you are tired and when you feel OK.

Spend some time on nonsexual touch. Perhaps have turns massaging each other or spend time cuddling and caressing. If you are embarrassed by your scar or feel uncomfortable being naked, wear some lovely lingerie. Tell your partner if it is OK to touch your chest or if you would prefer that he did not. There are some wonderfully intimate products to play with. Try Holistic Emporium Female Sensual Massage Oil or Kama Sutra Oils of Love. They are all hormone free.

 Most men say that they do not want to cause pain or embarrassment to their partner which is why they avoid sexual contact. However, they would readily restart sexual contact if their partners were willing. They just need some guidance.

If you are experiencing menopausal symptoms as a result of the treatment, discuss these with you Gynae or Oncologist. The lack of oestragen causes vaginal dryness and atrophy which can make intercourse difficult or painful. A good water based lubricant – Try Eros, Assegai or Durex Feel or a vaginal moisturizer, try At LAST for Her can help solve this problem. Sometimes an oestragen vaginal cream needs to be prescribed.

Sexuality is an integral part of everyone’s makeup. Sex and intimacy can be restored after breast cancer treatment and after having survived so much your intimacy levels are easily lifted.

Sexual health is an important part of overall health. Quality of life scores in people who get back to being sexual are higher than those who do not. For more help send us an email and we will refer you to our resident doctor who specializes in sexual health.